Recently, I have found my problem solving skills to be in a state of atrophy. This might be due to the lack of challenge at my work place, or perhaps laziness in general. Going from a stressed out University student to glorified human tape recorder(read:ALT) carries with it some serious consequences; many of which I probably won’t realize until long after I am out of Japan. As a way to improve my mind, I have been reading more, attempting some challenging logic puzzles and playing some sudoku. I have found the results of my training to be quite satisfactory, and my head no longer seers in pain at basic computations.
However, Japan always seems to find a way to brake my brain in two. I’m not sure if it is the culture to blame, or rather the company in particular, but I am flabbergasted at what I encountered on Thursday evening at a local dry-cleaners. I had dropped off a dress shirt there the other day and was going to pick it up. I thought this would be a routine trip. Oh, how wrong I was. Here is how things played out. The dialogue was in Japanese, but it has been translated into English for your enjoyment.
Continue reading ‘My Dress Shirt; Show it to me’
If you found yourself choking on the first word up there in title, have no fear. I will explain it all to you. The 始業式(shigyoushiki) is the ceremony that schools hold at the start of the new term. In this case it is the second term, and it starts right now. This ceremony is not as formal as most are. It doesn’t even involve wearing a tie in most cases.
The Shigyoushiki is to let the students know that they should move from their summer vacation study schedule to a regular school schedule. Otherwise they might not know they are actually suppose to attend classes again(they never stop coming to school, however.) I’m actually sure they would know about the new term, but you never can be too sure; and never being too sure is what Japan is all about. Practice, practice and more practice. Constant Vigilance!!!
I took part in this ritual and it wasn’t all that bad. The principal came up and spoke of all the recent elementary school deaths around Japan(perhaps as a subtle hint not to die this term.) He also wanted us to try our hardest and never give up, and that it’s time to pick up the pace and study like tomorrow was never going to come. Constant Vigilance!!!
Never mind that I had know idea when this ceremony started. I decided to be vigilant and get up at six am, so I could make it there without missing the ceremony. I made it with one and a half hours to spare. A close call. But I was vigilant!!!
Vigilant!!!
I am sitting here at my desk, trying to explain to myself why I haven’t blogged anything in the last three weeks. I would assume the one thing that keeps me from doing so is my absolute lack of desire to blog about Japan at this time. It’s not that there hasn’t been anything to blog about. I am just finding myself in a position of complete disillusionment.
As the summer months crawl by, I keep asking myself the same old questions. “Why I am still in Japan, when so many have moved on.” “Why I am still single, when so many my age have married and started families?” Or better yet, “Why I can’t seem to settle on a career when I am 31 and many are already well entrenched in their ambitions? ” It’s not that I am envious of those who are “successful” in the oxford definition of a happy life. Yet I can’t help but feel the ALT lifestyle is leaving me stretched thin. I love many aspects of Japan, yet feel I can never really amount to anything if I stay here. But then I ask myself, what is this “anything” I want to amount to in the first place. Is it worthwhile? Will it leave me satisfied? Can I really say that digging myself into a mediocre career with a wife and kids will give me anymore satisfaction than what I am doing now?
But there lies the problem. What am I doing now? The life of an ALT is a strange one indeed. I am there to assist my teachers with lessons, and I even make my own lesson plans when it comes to elementary school? Sadly, there is little that changes year to year. I am always making flashcards and finding songs. I am always using myself as a human tape recorder when I am in the Junior High classes. There are no promotions and no raises. I am not a human here. I am an ALT, and that is something I will always be. I am highly expendable, and that bothers me. As much as I enjoy this job it is not something I can do for rest of my life. When it comes to being ambitious, I am not Howard Hughes, but I am also not Kleatus, the slack jawed yokel. I feel like some days I am force to choose between these ridiculous extremes.
Which brings me to the next step. What that is, I’m not sure, however, I need to find it as soon as possible. I delayed this decision last year by moving out into the middle of nowhere. I fear now that if I don’t make it soon, I’ll be relegated to the vast rice-fields of Japan for years to come. In the mean time I will resume my blogging ways, and finding ways to make Japan enjoyable for all of you on the outside. Thanks for sticking around.
I thought I’d kick off my first blog post in a while with a smoking hot review of the Jazz concert I attended the other day. The name of the band is Olive and they are based out of Morioka and Senmaya. Yes, for those of you who read this blog on a regular basis, you’ll know that I used to live in Senmaya. I got a chance to take do a photo shoot of the concert. I was also quite impressed with what I heard.
The band is made up of Mai on drums, Emi on keyboards and vocals, and Oi on the electric stand up bass. What they lack in members, they make up for in raw ability. The band focuses on a style of acid jazz infused with pop style rolling bass lines. They performed a set of three songs; each more more upbeat and grooving than the previous. I have yet to actually get the names of the tunes they played; however, they are working on a CD for release later this year, so when I get my hands on it, you’ll be the first to know. For now I have placed the pictures I took in a flickr set. Enjoy.
Japan is well known for its slow moving, bureaucratic layers of impossibility. Many tasks such as getting a driver’s license, or even signing up for a credit card often require moments of effort and patience. Applying for a job, or enrolling in University can sometimes be so stressful, people spend year training for them. We can see a little of that in North American as well(SATs, interviews etc.), but I’m not sure it is on the same scale as what I’ve seen here. What I didn’t realize was that many of these stressful motions are taught from as early as elementary school.
Today, I present for you, the elementary school English club. The school shall remain nameless in order to protect the identities of those involved.
Continue reading ‘Red Tape is Sticky’
I read an article in a business magazine a number of years ago about how a typical day at a Japanese office goes. From that point on I have been quite reactionary towards many of the customs I see at Japanese companies. It might have been the long working hours (60-80 hours), or the large number of people who never take their paid holidays that got to me the most. For me, a healthy balance between work time and home time was the key to a healthy mind and body. I could never figure out exactly why the Japanese would choose to submit themselves to such terrible working conditions.
Continue reading ‘A New Perspective on Japanese Working Conditions’
Here are three things I bet you didn’t know about Japanese elementary schools.
1. In elementary school you can learn to ride a unicycle. I think I mentioned this before on the blog, but it blows me away every time. Usually, the girls learn to ride them. I assume it is to teach them balance, but I really have no idea why most elementary schools have them. Still, it’s pretty awesome.
2. Stilts. Yes, many(but not all) of the schools I’ve visited have stilts. Once again, I assume this is for teaching balance, but you’d think there would be better way to learn it. Did we ever have stilts in Canadian elementary schools?
3. Human Pyramid Making. I just learned about his yesterday, but it appears the students participate in human stacking projects. They do towers three students high, so they can be rather dangerous, but we aren’t talking “Cirque de Soleil” here. After thirty minutes practices, many of the students complain of sore backs and knees. Gee, I wonder why. The only time I’ve ever seen this in Canada was during cheerleading events.
There you have it. More bizzare and awesome things coming from Japan.
Maybe it’s because spring is here, or maybe it’s because Japanese folk are settling into their new jobs. Whatever the reasons, 合コン(gokon) season has arrived. What exactly I am talking about? 合コン is the Japanese version of the “blind date”, except usually with all things Japanese, it happens in large groups. It is a way for single people meet without all the crazy searching and meeting and talking(and energy that goes into dating.) This is prearranged, usually by people in relationships, to get their pathetic friends hooked up so they no longer have to whine. For a couple of nights this month, I have been that “pathetic friend.” Here is my story.
I get a call from “Joe” on Monday. “Jason, are you free Friday night? My girlfriend “Kokonoko” wants you to come out to dinner on Friday. She is bringing her single friends. Hint, Nudge.” How am I to refuse such an offer. I usually spend my nights tending empty rice fields. I’m in.
So Friday night comes along and I arrive at the target location. The food for the evening is Okinawan and it’s supposedly spicy as hell. When I get up to the table, I sense some commotion. It seems the seating hasn’t been properly arranged yet. Usually, in gokon, the men and women sit across from each other and stare shyly, casting glances, while evil machinations take place to get them to pair up. Tonight was a little different. I was a foreigner, and therefore I needed to be seated in the middle of all the single girl action. This was a little unfair to “Yukitaro”, the other single chap who showed up a little later. I, however, wasn’t in the mood for complaining.
Continue reading ‘合コン(Gokon) Fever’
As a foreigner living in Japan, one of my unfortunate plights is that before I came, I was inoculated against the Yellow Fever. No, not the real disease that will destroy your liver and kidneys, I’m talking about the Yellow Fever that drives you mad with attraction to Asian women (or men) simply due to their exotic nature. Yes, for some reason, I have no natural attraction to Asian women, and never have. This gave me a bit of a hard time during my initial run up to coming to Japan, as every uncouth male around me was mentioning how lucky I was going to be, surrounded by all the Asian hotties… For me though, it’s water water everywhere, but not a drop to drink.
However, on with the story. As you may already be aware, the groping of young women on trains has become quite a problem here in Japan, to the point where most railways now offer women only cars on their train lines. Most of the time, they are located at the head of the train, and usually only are in effect during the early morning commuting times of about 0600 - 0900 hrs.
Continue reading ‘New Findings Show Yellow Fever Inoculations Can Cause Lapses in Judgement’
For those who aren’t already aware, Kanji is one of the three alphabets used here in Japan, along with hiragana ひらがな, and katakana カタカナ. Kanji are sometimes referred to as “Chinese Characters”, as they are borrowed straight out of written Chinese, though their pronunciation, and sometimes their meaning are very different.
So where do flowers = snow? Japan, that’s where.
Continue reading ‘Why I Hate Kanji’
